Gentle Celebrations
We had a small impromptu celebration at the house, nothing elaborate, just food, a few familiar faces, keeping it gentle. Mum is in the middle of chemo again so everything is slower at the moment. Energy is limited. Appetites unpredictable. You learn to read the room, to read her face, to adjust plans in real time. Celebration looks different now, shorter evenings, softer lighting, making sure she is comfortable. But it still matters. Maybe more so.
Being a carer in this phase is intense. You have to stay vigilant, watching for side effects, changes in symptoms, managing medication, keeping track of appointments. It is a constant low level alertness. I have got a few trips coming up and if I am honest it makes me nervous leaving. Even when things are stable there is always that what if. Thankfully family are here and stepping in when needed, which makes it possible. Still, there is a mental shift when you walk out the door. You do not fully switch off anymore. You just carry the awareness with you.
Despite all the heaviness, I had a lovely time for my birthday. We had a delicious bbq as well as oysters and bubbles.
