Hockley Hustle II

Hockley Hustle again, and DJing it this time felt even better. There is something about playing a festival rooted in your own city that hits differently. Familiar streets, familiar faces, but a bigger platform. I am noticing I am calmer behind the decks now. More present. Less in my head.

There have been a lot of nights out around it too, partly celebration, partly soaking up time with people before I leave for Malawi. That decision is sitting heavily. Mum keeps insisting I have to go, that I cannot put my life on hold, that she will be okay. She says it with conviction. But it is complicated. The idea of leaving her while she is still in treatment scares me. Even with family here. Even with support. Love makes decisions less rational and more visceral.

So I am standing in that tension. Career opportunity on one side. Responsibility and fear on the other. Hockley felt joyful, but underneath it all there is a big question waiting to be answered.